Cop drama

An Indian cop “pulls over” a foreign driver in India

Scenario: The foreign driver (FD) hits a cow on the road, oblivious to the fact that he has committed more of a blasphemy than a felony. An Indian cop (IC) decides to take this opportunity to make some money out of it.

FD: Holy cow! Damn it!
IC: (Authoritatively swinging the baton) Hey hey hey! Do you know what you just did?
FD: Well, the cow came from nowhere! It darted in right in front of the car! I had no time to brake!
IC: No no… do you know what you just did?
FD: I hit the cow?
IC: Exactly (spits). You hit a cow. Do you know what that means?
FD: <shrugs>
IC: It means you are going to prison!
FD: Prison?! Why? It’s only a cow!
IC: Only a cow? ONLY A COW? Cows are holy! They are like our mother! Would you hit your mother with a car? And you know it is holy! You said holy cow just before I came here!
FD: I am sorry! But it came in my way!
IC: Your way? Sir! In this country, cows have right of way! If cow does not move, you go around the cow.
FD: Go around the cow? That will take me to the wrong lane!
IC: This lane, that lane… how does it matter? Go around the cow! If there are two cows, you go around both of them! You may go now.
FD: Oh.. thank you! And I am really sorry…<interrupted>
IC: I was speaking to the cow.
FD: What?! Er… look, the cow is not even hurt… it’s walking away. I cannot see why I need to go to prison!
IC: Hmmm. So you don’t want to go to prison?
FD: NO!!
IC: You foreigners! Want to see the Taj Mahal but don’t mind hitting a cow with a car! Have you seen the Taj Mahal?
FD: Er… yes…
IC: Good. Now come with me and we will discuss it over a cup of tea. Just park your car there.
FD: Park there? It says NO PARKING…
IC: I told you! Park there and come along!
FD: Sir, I am really sorry for the cow… but I really need to get going! I have a meeting to attend…<interrupted>
IC: What meeting? There is no meeting! Ok fine that will be 200 rupees.
FD: 200 rupees? For what?
IC: Look, you either give me the money or you go to jail. Er… for cowslaughter.
FD: Cowslaughter!? But I didn’t kill any cow! Do you see a dead cow?
IC: How do I know?! May be you hid the body. No wait, you are a beef eater, right? May be you ate the body!
FD: (Disgruntled) Ok, 200 bucks it is!
IC: No, 400.
FD: But you just said 200!
IC: You wasted my time. I could have easily earned another 200 for that family of 6 on a two wheeler there. So, 400.
FD: Ok ok… sorry! Here you go.
IC: Thank you thank you! And welcome to India sir. Have a pleasant stay.

Disclaimer: With all due respect to Indian policemen, this article was only written in jest. Resemblance to your life or any other’s is a freaking coincidence.

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Filed under Fiction, India oh India


2 Responses to “Cop drama”
  1. narendra says:

    haha i like the way the cop says welcome to India at the last..LOL….nice one….and the best part was when the cop says ‘you may leave’ …to the cow!!! 😛 😛 wonder why noone commented…
    narendra´s latest post – Letters to Satan

  2. Kokonad says:

    Thanks Narendra! 🙂 Actually I scripted this for my theater group – I am glad you liked it!

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