How long will newspapers live?
There are things I loved to do when I was back home in India – read the Sunday paper at leisure – before Mom gave me late breakfast. And before Dad woke up and came downstairs. Well, I never read all the political mumbo jumbo, but did read the full page Sunday comics. And the picture puzzles and the jumbles. And when I was youg(er) at heart, I used to read the horoscopes too, hoping that something great will turn out of the tremendously traumatic one way crush I had on this girl. But this was way way back – before I went to college. Ok, not way way back, just way back. I am not that old.
Enough with the prologue.
Today, I (along with millions of others) read the news online. I pick and click what I want to read. Computers and ever-increasing internet speeds are making everything – EVERYTHING appear online. Is this the end of the newspaper regime? It was thought once upon a time that 24×7 news channels on television are going to make newspapers go obsolete eventually. But in reality, it never even caused as much as a dent. But let us look at the current scenario. Everything on the internetis customized based on the individual – be it news content or even advertising. People look for news and relevant things based on keywords they use. Information is presented to the individual – he/she no longer has to look for it! With an increasingly increasing number of people depending on the internet for their daily dose of knowhow/what/why, isn’t it only a matter of time when newspapers will go obsolete?
I will argue with myself here, and point out that there is a certain pleasure associated with reading a newspaper with breakfast, compared to reading something on an electronic screen. It’s the same argument you can use for whether you want read a book from Kindle‘s electronic screen or by holding it in your hands with bookmarks and all? But that is ME talking. The current generation that is growing up is already accustomed to everything being present online itself. Will they ever experience what we do? May be till our generation (people born in the 80s and before) dies and fizzes out, newspapers are going to exist. Will newspapers end up in the museum after that? Just how long will newspapers live?
On a somewhat related note, here’s one of my favorite videos called “Did you know” (thanks to Kaushal for showing this to me!). It’s Karl Fisch’s famous presentation on the blinding speed of technological progress. This is version #3 of the project – “Shift happens“. Here’s his blog. Thought inspiring. Turn up your speakers, for the video is great with the background score!
Shift happens
Parts of this post are inspired by a very rich conversation I had had with a distinguished Indian gentleman a few weeks back. We were generally talking about how fast electronics are taking over every activity in our lives. The topic moved to the pointless ‘breaking news’ offered by 24×7 news channels, and then moved to how newspapers might actually go obsolete. Now this gentleman is in his 60s, and I am in my 20s – and I want to believe that newspapers will survive and continue surviving. He, on the other hand, differs in opinion here. Also, he has seen a LOT more life than me, or even the average man his age. I do intend to do a piece on his truly inspiring accomplishments later sometime by interviewing him myself. Till then, he remains anonymous.
I H8 TXTSPK ALOL
Yes, I hate text speak (txtspk). I am probably one of those few people in the world who insist on writing complete sentences even while SMSing/texting on cell phones. I agree every character is precious and it makes complete sense to abbreviate messages so that you get charged for only one message. But why do I have to read txtspk sentences in emails? NO ONE IS CHARGING YOU FOR ANYTHING. WRITE COMPLETE WORDS, LET ALONE SENTENCES. And what really irritates me is when I see a liberal use of replacing “th” with “d”. Look man, are you trying to be cool? Because it’s not working. No, it really isn’t. And you are not gaining anything from misspelling things. It’s totally arbitrary and it is not any kind of reason for celebration or show off.
Fr exmple how wud u lk 2 read da rest of dis post in dis abyssmal form of xprshn? It tuk me forvr 2 write dis sntnce. English is 2G2B4G. @TEOTD I knw u r g8ng u r msg acrss but dis is nt pr8y. K gtg nw. Show me the English ▼
It was late 2006 when New Zealand announced that it is OK if students used text-speak in their examinations as long as they showed an understanding of what was being asked of them. And that decision got many a bee in many a bonnet. The NZ qualifications authority apparently were asked “u mst b joking. or r u smkin smthng?” I was initially wondering that probably no one really wants txtspk to exist because it ruins academic writing. Turns out there are ongoing debates where educationalists are fighting over whether txtspk should be allowed or not…
The first *serious casualty* of txtspk is grammar. Well, grammatically speaking, they are trolls… but dramatically speaking, they pretty much convey the message. Let’s be honest. Languages have evolved a lot from what they were several hundred years back. They have always converged towards ease of communication and understanding. And that’s probably why Latin is no longer spoken by anyone. 
But will this lead to txtspk being the ‘talk of the town’? Can it actually become a colloquial language?
Nevertheless, ryting lyk dis irritates da hell outta ma sanity.
You might be wondering what on earth ALOL is. The reason behind this actually cracked me up. So, LOL is ‘Laughing out loud’ and ALOL is ‘Actually laughing out loud’. It arose from the fact that some people while chatting on IM or texting on cell phones never really laughed out loud even if they punched in “LOL” on their screens. So they wanted to draw the distinction between just LOLing and Actually-LOLing. ALOL. On that note… I came up with a self-explanatory graph here – the latest in Thoughts in 2D.
PS: I thought it should be text speech – but I really don’t know why it’s called text speak.
PPS: I required a bit of asking around to know what’s new in txtspk. Looks like my age does not permit usage of txtpsk.
Too much too fast
There are way too many electronic devices in the world. Way way way way too many. And the fact they are out with a new model with incremental advantage by the time you open all the bubble wrap. The biggest regrets are accompanied with laptops, desktop computers, digital cameras and *some* Apple products. I mean, I just bought it – you are out with a new model already? And slashed the price of my model too! Come on!
My complaint, however, is not with that exactly. I want to run a comparison with the early 90s and before. When a person used to buy something, be it a car or even a radio, the love for it used to be eternal. The affection one had for his or her electronic item was possessive and beautiful. There was no competition for years to come and one did not get envious of a friend buying a better one…
Let me take an example where I myself am involved. Way back in 1996, I was gifted a Sony Walkman. Oh man I loved it! I used to wipe it regularly, used smart battery practices and used it frequently. ALL THE WAY TILL 2002. So that lasted over 6 yeras. After which cassettes went obsolete and CDs came in. My brother gave me my first portable CD player and that stayed with me till 2007 (5 years later), when I bought my iPod Touch. Three months after my purchasing it, Apple released its 2nd generation iPod Touch which is better than mine in so many ways… but the advantages of the second model are fairly incremental in nature and one can do without them. But still, it is marketed in such a way that it is absolutely essential to have that update, because you are going to reach happiness much faster.
My point is, electronic items are increasingly becoming disposable. With huge numbers already being produced at this time, product life in the market has been reduced to a few blinks of the eye. Can anyone else see things spiraling out of control? What can we expect in 2020? What kind of choices will our next generation be presented with?
Some food for thought. (In retrospect, most of the graph also holds *somewhat* true for boyfriends/girlfriends 
)
Love thy gadget
[Left click for better viewing]
Thaw [Movie poster]
After my 2020 based news article earlier this month, and with everyone chipping in for Earth Day 2009 – I thought I should make a contribution too – to inspire people on earth day! The earth needs to be saved, people! Do your bit everyday. Here’s a movie idea – THAW.
Thaw - The movie
Movie name based on “Saw”
“Saw” based font borrowed from JackassRules on Deviant Art.
Social networking is not.
First I was tired of seeing weird names on Orkut. Now I am TIRED of seeing those irritating tests of Facebook that go “What kind of _____ are you?” That _____ could be any of the following: fruit, underwear, switchboard, poop, detergent, refrigerator, carburetor, lawn mower, chewing gum stage, ear wax, potato, weed, antenna, sock, or molester. And then they, with *careful* analysis show that the quiz revealed something amazing about you probably never knew about yourself. Why why why why why why – why do people have to take that test? And even if it is for their personal entertainment, they should stop publishing it on their profile… aaargh!
Aside, a growing trend among people on the internet, people have basically stopped having lives. (Here is a potential ‘Look who’s talking’ moment, but I am going to ignore it) Thanks to all these social networking websites (Facebook and Orkut primarily) – people literally have forgotten how to converse with rich content, or even open a conversation. Social skills are out the window! Like I said, social networking is not.
More harmful effects of computers and excessive online activity: Bad handwriting!
Better never than late!
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you end up late no matter how ahead of time you plan things. That happens to me ALL the time. I am, by habit, a fairly punctual person. But you never know, sometimes a series of unfortunate events totally mess things up. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter. Other times, you get judged. And you curse the fact that the day even happened. It’s as if God has a grand scheme of things planned out for you – but you never see it! Heh heh. In my continuing series of Thoughts in 2D, here’s my latest.
[Left-click for bigger size]
Global warming horror
I imagined what it would be like in 2020, by when the full effect of global warming would have hit the world. I think this is something we can expect to see in the newspapers. This is me, Doofus Maximus, reporting. For comic relief only.
Hawaii sinks. Completely.
21st February 2020
The New New York CityBy correspondent Dewfus Maksimus
The world stood and stared in shock watching the last coconut tree of Hawaii go down under sea level. In a series of events across the world that involved the sinking of several islands, Hawaii, the 50th state, the “archipelago of booze”, was the 14th victim. Tens of thousands had gathered on the coast of Fornia (formerly known as California). The president expressed deep regret at this because Hawaii gave good revenue from tourism, especially from drunk college kids during spring break. In a twitter press conference held soon after, he posted the following from his cell phone – “The last time I visited Hawaii during the presidential campaign, I had seen at least eight coconut trees. I even bought a souvenir. It is sad that one can no longer sip a coconut in the sunny beaches, let alone run in slow motion.”
A lot of land from the United States has succumbed to the wrath of water. Only a couple of years ago, the state of California was renamed to Fornia because most of the west coast was underwater and California had become a thin strip. The thin shape of the state could no longer contain the whole word “California” in maps and atlases. The governer, having a liking towards small names renamed it Fornia, because the ‘Cali’ part was underwater.
According to several polls and surveys conducted over the internet, ‘water‘ is now voted the #1 public enemy. People were interviewed about what corrective measure they should have taken in the 1990-2010 to prevent global warming. Indi Nayal, a citizen of DUK (Deniably United Kingdom), said “We never took global warming seriously back in the days. It was mentioned occasionally on TV but I was always under the impression that it’s not going to happen while I am going to be alive. I guess we were in denial. In denial. In-de-ni-al. Hey, that IS my name!”
Another gentleman we interviewed was Italian, named Pizzacau Zes Obesiti – and he was upset on two levels. First, the long-legged-Italy (see map) lost its shoe because of the rising water levels. (Co)Incidentally, most of the soccer players were from that part of the country. Second, the country was so full of painters that the water around Italy has a mixture of colors now.
India too lost the Andaman & Nicobar islands in 2018 followed by Lakshwadeep in 2019. However, they are not upset. The focus of the country is driven towards another issue – how to retain the water in the soil. Most of the government funding is going towards building 88 giant airtight containers that would fit all the 88 states. When the government was asked the significance of such boxes, they replied that “Food stays nice and fresh that way, because the moisture is retained. So why not scale it up a little bit? Each of these boxes will snugly cover each of the 88 states and poof, all the water stays in.” But they are having trouble with Pakistan yet again, because Pakistan wants more of Kashmir than India is willing to share. The size of the air tight container meant for Kashmir is yet to be decided after peace talks between both nations.
The bottom line is, the end is near, everyone. Global warming is very real.
So global warming is very real. Season changes are unseasonal. Winter is overstaying its welcome in several parts of the world, and other places are seeing summer temperatures soaring above 40 C in March itself. Weather patterns have changed so much that even the common man has started observing it. For example, the number of savage storms and hurricanes across the world in the last three years alone have shattered both homes and records. The world is indeed realizing that global warming is indeed happening, but all the action is limited to saying that we need to do something about it. Well, THEN DO IT! Walk to the store, don’t drive. It’s not that hot, you will do fine without the air conditioning. Switch off all the lit advertisement billboards. No one needs to see them flashing! It’s too cold inside the house? Don’t touch that thermostat – just wear another layer. Cut less trees, use recycled wood. The list of things that can be done by the common man is endless. The Kyoto Protocol is good protocol!
I want to go to Hawaii before it sinks. Please. 
