That dreaded visit to home
Several of my friends from school and college have recently started a trend. They suddenly change their status on facebook/orkut – as engaged, or even married! Without any warning whatsoever. Not that we are devastated by the information that our buddy is getting married. No, because it is really great news. (Means we get to eat food for 3 days in return for moving some baskets of food/flowers around).
On asking them how it all happened… this is the generic conversation.
[...]
“Whoa! That’s awesome news… so how did it all happen?”
“Mom insisted.”
“Mom insisted? You mean you didn’t want to?”
“No… I am glad that I am getting married! But I was not mentally prepared to get married now.”
“Didn’t you tell her that?”
“Well, I did – but the argument quickly disintegrated into dust when she mentioned that she wanted to see grandchildren before she is old.”
“Ah, ok. So that’s why you got married…”
“Actually, no. I used the ‘I want to get settled first’ argument.”
“And?”
“Oh man she saw it coming. She said I get paid well enough to sustain the entire community.”
“Oooh…”
“Yeah, apparently she has been telling people that I am the ‘CEO of email’. ”
“Ha ha ha ha!”
“But her final argument is irrefutable.”
“And what’s that?”
“She said that in her ladies club she feels awkward because she is the only non-mother-in-law”
[...]
Sometimes you just can’t win arguments with parents. Back in the days it was about a new GI-Joe toy. Of late, there has been an increasing occurence of this. Most people I know who are above the age of 25 go home to visit their parents and come back engaged. In a couple of cases, married. The general warning going around is to avoid the topic as much as possible. Feign ignorance of the concept of marriage if that’s what it takes. 
Such conversations are always, always hilarious. When it happens to someone else.
When it happens to you, you need to learn not to be a kid anymore. A bigger life awaits you.
I have a deadline given to me. 2011. “You find before then, else comply with us.” :-p
Moral of the story:- Make sure the neighbour’s son stays a bachelor till you are “settled”!
Now that means different things to different people, so I leave that open! ;p
Then again, I guess you know of *some* people on the other side of the fence, who insist that they want to get married, claim that they have enough to feed a joint family (if not a community) and that they are the only non-son-in-laws in their groups, but to no avail.
I so empathise with this one. My deadline is 2011 too. And that’s an extreme deadline.
Hmm… my neighbour is getting married this December… lol .. brilliant post… n once again .. interesting conversation within quotes…
@Deepika and @Dreamcatcher
Guys get that kind of deadline too, you know!
2011, huh? Sounds great! Your knight shining an armor awaits you somewhere…
@Nikhil
Heh heh! I am intrigued as to what the various meanings of ‘settled’ are!
@Sayontan
Dada, ha ha ha ha!
@Siddharth
?
Thanks bhai! Great news about your neighbor, though. So when are YOU getting married
interesting post,
hope your mom also reads this brother
lol
@sm
Ha ha ha! Actually it’s not that I am in this situation right now – but you never know – it could crop up some day! This post was inspired by observing friends getting married, actually!
The timing of this post is ‘perfect’ for me. I am at home these days. My younger brother got married 2 days back. And i m struggling to get back to work with a ‘single’ status. Will write a post about it.
I ensure that I put weight every time I see my mom. That rules out the ‘No one to feed you’ argument.
I also know certain people who spin yarns of fiction about these girls / guys their ‘friends’ got married to, who drove the mothers-in-law out of the house post marriage. But then, now-a-days, more than us, the parents are under societal pressure to get us married!
We might run away from the topic, but eventually, they will catch up with us… with an effortless ease! And we will be left wondering, what hit us!
@Shazia
First of all, congratulations! I wish him all the very best! Second, aayega baba aayega, aapka number bhi aayega!
@Shiv
LOL… that is SO funny! I almost spit out my morning coffee reading that! It’s a lot like ‘You can run but you can’t hide. Even if you do hide, you have to come back home to eat mother’s delicious food. Then we will get you married to a beautiful girl with good family. What will you name your first son?’
interesting post koke..
Hahaha…
‘Beautiful gurrrl from good family’ starts the moment you step out of college. In fact, at times, your semester holidays are filled with ‘I hope you are a good boy! We will search for a good gurrrl from a good family for you. You are too young (at 21!!!). We have taken yeverrrie decision for you correctly. Even this we will take correctly’! 
All you are left with (at least in my case is) ‘Gulp!!!’ Of course, the heavier conversations, as you grow older is of a different league. And if you decide to not show interest till you are 28 (and if you are in the US), you are given the option to ‘search for a girl from a good family’ yourself (amidst a lot of reluctance of course). But the checklist that is associated with the ‘good family definition includes so many things that one just wants to swallow the whole marriage thing like a bitter pill, and leave it to the ‘experts’!
@chitwan
Thanks Chitwan! Also for dropping by and commenting!
@Shiv
Man, that “I hope you are a good boy” is way too much pressure! Awesome accent, btw! And yes, by standards accepted by the Indian society, after the age of 28, if one is single and
unluckylooking, one NEEDS to leave it to the experts!I think we can also come up with a scenario indicating the level of nervousness when one introduces his/her potential better-half to the parents… (Ha ha, I already have a graph in my head now!)
so how many sites are you on? Shaadi, Match.com, matrimony.com
Hilarious isn’t it!!!
BTW Shiv – If you get too fat she will say ur eating junk food. If only u married smne who wud make homecooked food fr ya
@Revathi
At least as far as I know (meanwhile I am opening a new window to search for existing matrimonial profiles someone might have created as a joke *shiver me timbers*).
LOL! Me not on any shaadi site!
@Shiv: Revathi’s got a point. I want you to top that reply! Or will you cave?
It’s almost like a practice test for your actual ‘viva voce’.
@Revathi
Ha ha, if parents are learning how to photoshop then… (OK, my laughter just died. Now I am filled with dread.)
(Also, welcome to my blog, Revathi! I hope you enjoy your every visit here!)
@Revathi, Well, that is why, I ensure that I got addicted to Ghee and Sweets. And consistently, gain a pound or two whenever you go home (which is quite easy). Basically, portray that you are a foodie who just gains weight. Irrespective of home or away.
The day your mom suggests you to go to a gym… you have almost won the battle. The problem is… by then, the purpose fails as not too many girls think you are a ‘chick magnet’ too! But then, every great solution has a minor drawback!
@Koke, I am waiting for the graph! Another graph would be indicating the proximity to nervous breakdown as you ARE introduced to your better half’s parents!
@Shiv
Ha ha! The comments are getting funnier by the
minutecomment. The graph/cartoon will come soon. It’s only a matter of (my getting) time. Right now, read about global warming in my new post.hmmm im all curious now …waiting for the cartoon koke.
@ shiv…arent u going home day after…lol….all the best !
@Debleena
Next cartoon in line is probably going to be a post on political correctness. Uske baad we will revisit the marriage thing!
Cartoon aayega, aayega.
hahahaha.. ur graph was so real! i showed it my mom.. lol
jokes apart u really write well and keep giving us more graphs to let us judge our progress..
LOL! This is soo true. I’ve seen it with many of my friends too. So was my case but my hubby decided for himself when he wanted to marry. His parents left him the choice and dint force him.
Sorry for the delay people, in replying to your lovely comments! For the past few days I have been away from the computer conducting *somewhat useful* research!
@shweta
Welcome to my blog Shweta! Thank you for the compliments – I am glad you liked the graph!
@rads
Heh heh, I am glad you liked it, Radhika! Keep visiting!
haha…that was a good read…so very true
The Universal, rather Indian truth.
@Megha and @brownphantom
It makes me happy that several people are connecting to it!
Welcome to my blog! And thanks for commenting.
Lolz@ CEO of Email!
Talk about more things change, the more the stay the same! My mom and dad got married the same exact fashion nearly 40 years ago. And yes, Dad tried his best to feign complete ignorance of anything called “marriage” until his mother sent him weepie letters i.e. Emails of that Era.
@Amrita
And we ALL know that wasn’t really the case inside his head! Heh heh!
Ha ha ha! My dad did the exact same thing too! He showed that he was least bothered that he was getting married
Thank you for dropping by and commenting!
@Kokonad
Koke:
a scenario indicating the level of nervousness when one introduces his/her potential better-half to the parents… looking forward to the graph
@Kolika
Aayega aayega, uska number aayega!
Man, that graph really is on great demand!
omg!! sooooooooo true! completely agree! lol
i’ve been ducking my head out of the way of marriage proposals… glad to know i m not the only one…. !
Ashwathy´s latest blog post – Three more 55-ers!
#Ashwathy:
Thank you, thank you! People have been asking me the question if I am in the current state now, you know? Heh heh… I am glad my parents have left it upon me to decide when to marry. But who to marry – that’s a completely different saga altogether!