Pigs don’t have it easy

After the reverberating (cough) response following the coverage of The sinking of Hawaii, Doofus Maximus appears again – only this time, he has an animal’s point of view. A pig. About how they do not have it easy in this cold cruel world of humans. Now with swine flu, they hate it that their already tarnished image is being given a shot. Doofus Maximus reporting, for comic relief only.

Pigs want their oink to be heard

1st May 2009
Lasve Gas

By correspondent Dewfus Maksimus

Pigs have not had it easy for a long long time. They have been the butt of jokes and stereotypes of the human race for as long as they can remember. In the recently held swine conference held in Lasve Gas, the primary focus of the meeting was to bring together pigs from around the world to discuss how to renew their failed image among the human race. Iffaifaart Yudai, their chief spokespig expressed great hope amidst deep concern –
Ah all you swine, let our minds entwine, we need to draw the line, and recreate an image so fine, that humans see us shine, and treat us with respect as they dine!“.

Pigs are not happy with several expressions from around the world in different languages – “eat/smell like a pig“, “this place is like a pigsty“, “son of swine” etc. The last one, they say, was spoken out with deep passion in an Indian movie – Sholay (suar ke bachchon), and thereafter, most of this country’s citizens used it as a calling that lacked affection. And now, pigs feel that ‘swine flu’ is going to cause their popularity charts to plummet further. The spokespig added that humans are going to hate pigs more.
We have a poink to make. It’s not fair you know, they get the flu too! So why can’t we? If they get flu, they get the flu shot. If we get flu, we get shot.
They are indeed pushing for the renaming of the virus strain to H1N1, so that the general morale of pigs stays higher.

This event was originally organized by the GRaceful Union against Negative Treatment (GRUNT), but they were disgruntled that GRUNT did not quite reach human ears. Humans ignored it as a mere grunt. Then the management gurus advised them to change their name to Oppression and Insensitivity are Not Kool (OINK) but that failed to make a point poink as well. “We thought, at least by spelling ‘cool’ as ‘kool’ is going to get some attention!“, Mr. Yudai was heard saying.
Finally they conducted surveys among humans, the most common reply received was “Pigs forming an organization? Pffft! Yeah, and pigs can fly!” Taking the hint from the overwhelmingly common response, the organization was then renamed to PFFFT (Pigs’ Foundation For Fine Treatment) with their catch line “Pigs can fly

Let’s hope their oinks and grunts are heard this time and they have better times ahead. Below is the poster for PFFFT, an organization that has set out to make a difference.Pigs can fly poster

Photograph credits
Original bird flying image (I took this!)
Original pig from here
Original mud splatter from here

Edited to add:
Roshmi’s take on the issue – how you can turn swine flu to YOUR advantage!
Jai Iyer says (draws, rather) – After all, pigs are people too, you know!

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Comments

26 Responses to “Pigs don’t have it easy”
  1. Kadambari says:

    Hey! You’ve got a new favicon for your page! What’s mp..by the way?? Matte Phinish??

    And Lol! Awesome post. So much for pigs! Who would have known!
    😀

  2. Kokonad says:

    @Kadambari
    Whoa! Stunning display pic! It has increased the average beauty of this page threefold!
    Thanks for liking the post. Btw, MP stands for Mostly Pointless, but Matte Phinish sounds GREAT!
    Aside, that favicon never shows up on blogrolls 🙁 I have no clue why!

  3. rads says:

    Awww bechare piggys no one to defend them except the one n only Dewfus … now wont they be glad if they hear this… well can’t blame humans either they are busy with swine flu…

  4. “Iffaifaart Yudai”. Wahahahaha.

    Awesome post. Pigs can finally look up to Doofus as their messiah.
    And the poster complete with a mud splotch must have been some work on Photoshop. I’m unskilled with Photoshop.

    • Kokonad says:

      @rads
      I know! Dewfus Maksimus should have his own symbol now! May be he can add a spandex suit (like Batman, but not like Robin) 😛
      Thanks for the link – though I think there is some kind of new found evidence that a man might have given swine flu to that pig. Which makes it weird, because then it should be called MAN FLU.

      @Julia Scissor
      Hi R! I am REALLY REALLY happy that you noticed that name! 😀 I love coming up with names like this – the other Dewfus post had Indi Nayal and Pizzacau Zes Obesiti. I guess my all time top favorite creators are those of Asterix and Obelix – the names they came up with! LOL. No, wait – ALOL.
      Yeah, that mud splatter and the flying pig were both photoshopped onto that bird picture I credited, which I had taken in May 2008. Although, I use GIMP, not Photoshop. The latter is very expensive. Hardly affordable. 🙁 GIMP comes free!

  5. TW says:

    Haha.. very funny.. love the graphics works on your site …

  6. TW says:

    err… is that the default icon for commentors.. I swear I don’t have that face!
    TW

  7. Kokonad says:

    @TW
    Hi TW, welcome to my blog! (I love yours and it’s already on my blogroll!) Thank you for commenting, and I surely hope to see more of your presence felt. Meanwhile, I am sorry that my commenting code gave you the purple monster. I am certain it was not personal! 🙂

  8. Reva says:

    There is a dialogue by Tamil super star Rajinikanth – Singham single ah varum, Panninga dhaan kootama varum 😛 (LIONS COME ALONE, PIGS COME IN HERDS! :d)

  9. Richie. says:

    I agree pigs took inspiration from humans with regards to PFFT and Pigs can fly. Hence why they started swine Flew (only once again they changed the spelling to sound Kooler, But wat dya know)

  10. Kokonad says:

    @Reva
    It’s been so long since I have seen a Rajinikanth movie! Sigh… same with Mithunda! Btw, have you seen Wolverine yet? There are so many stunts in there (sword cutting bullet to kill two others) – Rajinikanth has done it all already! 😀

    @Richie.
    Heh heh heh! Thanks for dropping by Richie! 🙂 Long time no hear/see!

  11. Roshmi says:

    Unfortunately, here in India nobody has till now ‘realized’ that the ‘pig’ is also a close relation to Vishnu’s 3rd avatar… the ‘Varaha’. Had they done that… there would have been several XYZ… leaders professing to lead the ‘Varaha party’… to defend the ‘honour’ of the pigs/varahas and thereby ‘protecting’ the ‘culture’ of india… !!! Would have been a great ‘poll plank’… what say?!! 🙂

    And oh before I forget… several newspaper/media offices would have been ransacked by now… for referring to such a ‘sacred’ animal as ‘swine’… !!!

  12. Kokonad says:

    #Roshmi:
    Wow! Also, Shhhh! 😛
    India has enough politicians wasting money as it is! Don’t give them ideas! Heh heh, Varaha party! That’s a hilarious insight, Roshmi! Ha ha ha ha!

  13. Roshmi says:

    Ha Ha Ha!

    Yes, ‘Varaha Party’ and their ‘sacred’ student wing will be christened the ‘Varaha Sena’… !!! 😛

    Since masks have become very popular ever since the Gujarat satrap got his supporters to don them (Modi masks)… the Varaha party/Varaha Sena members too will wear masks… then they can look like each other and that will bring ‘uniformity’ to their campaign… as well as distinguish them from the ‘hoi polloi’… no prizes for guessing what mask that will be, though!

    Roshmi´s last blog post | ‘Chicken-hearted’… ??? Cluck! Cluck!!

  14. Kokonad says:

    #Roshmi
    Ha ha ha ha! That really cracked me up! You must do a post on this, Roshmi! 🙂

  15. Roshmi says:

    🙂

    Hmmm….. I did a bit of it though @ ‘Chicken-hearted’… ??? Cluck! Cluck!!

    Roshmi´s latest blog post | Between the ‘Eye’PL lines…!!!

  16. Roshmi says:

    Here is the bit:

    Tough life… being a ‘chicken’… Sigh!! Ever since their ‘flying’ genes (H5N1 Bird flu) jumped the species barrier to pigs (A/H1N1 Swine flu), these poor souls are under intense pressure and facing stiff challenge at their “annual flying competition”… from their fellow ‘fauna’… the swines, ok pigs… Alright! Alright! Country cousins of ‘Babe’… !!! Hey, hang on… did I hear Oink! Oink!

    A piece of advice to all the ‘swines’… umm to all the country cousins of ‘Babe’… don’t reveal your identity on ‘Facebook’ or ‘Twitter’… the number of hits may decrease and Facebook may cancel your account while Twitter may suspend it due to ‘suspicious activity’!!! After all ‘Twitter’ is helmed by a little blue ‘bird’… which ‘flu'(ew) once and may not want to do so again!!!

    My next post will most certainly be on our ‘flying’ friends…

    Roshmi´s latest blog post | Between the ‘Eye’PL lines…!!!

  17. Kokonad says:

    #Roshmi:
    Heh heh… now I am looking forward to this! 😀 😀

  18. Ashwathy says:

    talk about creativity!! lol
    keep it coming! 🙂

  19. Roshmi says:

    Done with Part 1…

    Roshmi´s latest blog post – "Swine Fluuuuu" and the grunt(side) stories!!!

  20. Kokonad says:

    #Roshmi:
    …and I commented on it too! It is hilarious! Looking forward to part 2!

  21. Awesome post!!
    Simply Ridiculous´s latest post – Holes In The Poles

  22. Kokonad says:

    Thank you, SR! And welcome to my blog!

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