Love spicy food, eh?

This post featured on BlogAdda.com’s Tangy Tuesday Picks! Thank you BlogAdda!

Tangy Tuesday Picks

This post is dedicated to all those people who, in order to impress the gentler sex, will overload their dish with “extra hot” for their order in a restaurant. What follows is extremely funny, if seen with the right eye. Also, don’t rub your eyes after touching spicy food. It’s worse when you are wearing contact lenses. Take it from someone who has done it. No, really. I have.

So the next time you go out with friends out for dinner, and someone in your group has been raving as to how much spicy food he can take, observe him really closely, more so if there are girls in your group. At first, he is going to declare at the table, within audible range of his object of interest how much he loves spicy food. He will then choose the spiciest dish from the menu (the one with two chillies drawn right next to it). He will further make sure that the girl has heard him. He will then tell the waiter that he wants that dish, but he wants it extra-extra-spicy.

The food arrives, and our hero dives into his red colored dish. He takes the first spoonful into his mouth to demonstrate how much he loves it. Thereafter it’s all regret.

He will blink ever so quickly at the sheer shock of TOO MANY CHILLIES. He will first nod his head and smack his lips to say how amazing it is in taste. In his head, he is telling himself that he could have gone for just spicy and not ‘extra extra’ at all. His vision is blurry and tears well up in his eyes. Whilst fighting back the tears, there is a volcano erupting in his mouth and is probably reaching into his ears. Hell hath no fury like a tongue incinerated. He makes a mental note that he is never going to eat that dish ‘extra extra spicy’ again. Ever. Oh and there are these tell-tale signs of his suffering. First, he will talk a lot less until the fire is out. Then, at one point, roughly 33% into his food, he is going to comment that the food is really hot. And is going let out a chuckle abashedly. Third, he is going to eat more rice than normal to douse all that fire on his tongue. And fourth, there is a high chance he is not going to finish his food. Fifth, he may suggest dessert.

Meanwhile, our hero doesn’t realize that all this self inflicted arson is futile because the girl he wants to impress is unimpressed by his gastrointestinal prowess. Trust me guys, IT NEVER WORKS. So don’t even try it. How well you can withstand-the-assault-of-spicy-food-without-getting-mind-numbing-gas is fairly low on the ‘boyfriend eligibility’ list. Women don’t want all that! I will tell you what women want. Meanwhile, our hero’s love interest is actually completely enamored by this other guy in the group and our hero doesn’t know it. Ah, never mind. It opens up a whole new chapter in love.

So you think you love spicy food?
[Click to magnify]

PS: I really think waiters/cooks have a major play in this. They throw in another ‘extra’ in ‘extra extra spicy’ and sit back and watch the fireworks/waterworks.

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Filed under People, Thoughts in 2D

Comments

40 Responses to “Love spicy food, eh?”
  1. Heh. Men try so many things to impress a girl, which could be just achieved by doing the basics right :p
    Fun post !
    Delphian Oracle´s latest post – The worst day since yesterday

  2. Choco says:

    Hahahaaa…
    I never knew that this was a ploy to attract the attention of the fairer sex! If so it is very school boyish.
    “Just imagine what poor health he must have if this is how he eats!?!” is what the gals will say later in their girl talk..
    But there is hope because there is always that one (or two) girl who will think it to be hip! 🙂
    Choco´s latest post – Music That Touched My Soul – The Legend That Was Michael Jackson

  3. grayquill says:

    Now here is a man with insight
    Us men are hillarious sometimes. Great Post. Spoken like a real man.
    grayquill´s latest post – Molestation an Unanswered Evil

  4. Slash\\ says:

    Or, he might be just running with the thought that chicks dig “rocket” scientists.
    Slash\\´s latest post – Coffee is for closers only

  5. DC says:

    Why would anyone be impressed because someone likes spicy food? Heh. My roommate once drank chilly sauce in a restaurant, (yes, she drank it, and no, we haven’t gone back there). I wasn’ t impressed.
    The graphs at the end of the post are too-cool 😀

  6. Roshmi says:

    Nicely done!

    Its the same story with a certain invention… involving a pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

    Perhaps this ‘fire eating’ species think… they were parrots in their previous birth, and can still display some parrot-like characteristics in their current avatar as well… !!! 😀
    Roshmi´s latest post – I have been tagged. Now its your turn… !!!

  7. Ashwathy says:

    ROFL!!! that graph is awesome!

    yes yes in fact it’s more like the waiter’s/chef’s revenge on being mocked at for amount of spice intake one can tolerate!!

    P.S.: how much of it in real-life inspired?? 😀
    better yet, why don’t u write a post when u actually did it… and then rubbed ur eyes… which had contact lenses in it!!!
    Ashwathy´s latest post – Recognition…. wooooohoooo!!! 😀

  8. adisha says:

    LOLzzzzz…. Soundsl ike u talking from Experiance :p hehehee 😉 I just LOVE spicy food …. and it’s Very rare that restaurants stump me … 😀 SO there !! Me the exception … 😉 :p
    adisha´s latest post – Thrill Rides ??! No, Thank you.

  9. Roshmi says:

    You have been tagged! Check out my latest post: “I have been tagged. Now its your turn… !!!”… for further details.

  10. Sriram says:

    hehe.

    “can i have extra extra spicy please”. the chef hears “can i be your bakra please. slaughter my taste buds”.

    the graph is funny mate!
    Sriram´s latest post – Monday morning

  11. Archana says:

    Haha I looove this – very well written! You have a lot of wit & charm to your writing style. I’m such a fan, haha. As for the 2D, if I ran a restaurant, that would be in my menu. 😛 I’m actually a major spicy food lover – and I am guilty as charged for ordering something ‘extra extra’ spicy…but unlike most men I know, I can actually handle it. 😛

    I should fwd this post to all the guys I know that think it’s highly impressive to women that they can chomp down on a raw chili. Though seeing their faces turn red, eyes glaze over, heh, that’s always priceless. It’s a cute attempt at showing how “manly” they are I suppose…. & I’m sure the pampering post-chili-break-down (the aww are you okay’s, rubs on the back, etc) that they receive make up for it.
    Archana´s latest post – Back to Basics

  12. Debleena says:

    lol i like the “p.s” comment .now that u put it…seems quite true……..
    the graph reminds me of the newyork skyline 🙂
    good one

  13. Indyeah says:

    LOL!!
    this is so good! 😆
    😀

    I am forwarding this to some friends who need to read it 😀

    awesome graph too 😀

    oh! and Congratulations on being selected for Blog Adda! 😀
    Indyeah´s latest post – VOTE ! VOTE! VOTE!

  14. tangerine says:

    Ur posts are just so hilarious!
    U must have had a really ‘tearful’ date once you touched your eyes after eating spicy food!

    btw, u have been tagged. I dont know if u like doing tags but neways.
    tangerine´s latest post – Tagged

  15. rads says:

    LOL Poor guy, he actaully did all that to impress a gal? what a waste of time…frankly I think guys should be themselves and not pretend to get gal’s attention coz gals who fall for pretentious guys r never serious..they r just flirting…
    rads´s latest post – I wanted to be…

  16. rads says:

    And hey CONGRATS on being featured in BlogAdda…way to go
    rads´s latest post – I wanted to be…

  17. LMAO… What a write-up!! But don’t you think Blog-Adda should have picked it up as Spicy Saturday pick instead of Tangy Tuesday.. 😛
    Tell me is this an autobiographical note?? 😀 😀
    preposterousgirl´s latest post – Know ME!!

  18. Roshmi says:

    Please vote for my blog: http://notapennyformythoughts.blogspot.com/ @ Indiblogger (if you feel it is worthy of your vote, that is)

    Only 5 days left! You can only vote for one blog… i.e., you can vote only once.

    Link to vote @ Indiblogger: http://www.indiblogger.in/vote.php?entry=408

    Check out my latest post: “Please Vote… for my Blog @ IndiBlogger! Only 5 days left!”

    You need to be registered with IndiBlogger. Here is the link: http://indiblogger.in/

    Thanks in advance! 🙂
    Roshmi´s latest post – Please Vote… for my Blog @ IndiBlogger. Only 5 days left!

  19. You mean there are men for whom bragging about their wonderful houses / fat pay cheques / amazing jobs / how much they work- out and yada-yada isn’t enough? They want to show they can stomach inedible food too? 😀

  20. Congrats on the Blogadda mention.

  21. oh my. do guys really do this???? i’m going to keep a sharp eye out for this. and…i’m thinking…wtf…why didn’t anyone ever do this for me?
    agentgreenglass´s latest post – Come as you are As you were As i want you to be

  22. Kokonad says:

    Sorry everyone, I was away for a while to a place with no cellphone reception or WiFi… had absolutely no access to the internet (enjoyed it thoroughly, though). Have a lot to catch up in work and I am not being very punctual in replying to comments! I hope this phase is short-lived.

    #Delphian Oracle:
    Thanks! 🙂 But what basics are you talking about? 😮

    #Choco:
    Oh yes it was! It has always been! Then that phases out of people’s habits… because they realize that it’s arson with no point whatsoever 😀
    But do you really think there could be girls who think that it is an excellent characteristic to have? Wanted: Tall, dark, handsome boy. Should be well educated and must be able to stomach chilies. Should know math.

    #Grayquill:
    Thank you, thank you! 🙂

    #Slash\\:
    Heh heh heh.. but you know, if a person really thinks that a girl would be impressed by one’s fire-farting abilities, he should never get a girl. 😛 OR, I WOULD LIKE TO MEET SUCH A GIRL! No wait… I probably never want to meet such a girl.

  23. Kokonad says:

    #DC:
    Thank you, thank you! 🙂 Well, that’s the point I am trying to make to the guys… girls are NOT impressed by your chili-eating capacities!

    #Roshmi:
    Thanks Roshmi! For the tag too! I am not too much into tags, did it only once may be!
    I agree with the cigarette. I am not a smoker myself, but I know several friends who do… but it has become a part of their lifestyle now – nothing to do with impressing girls 🙂

    #Ashwathy:
    Real life inspired? 😀 Heh heh… actually it is slightly real-life inspired… I did order my chicken wings “insane hot” and boy I had to eat it all straight faced! But there was no girl involved whom I had to impress 😛
    Oh, and I rubbed my eyes on a totally different occasion! While cooking! Again, no girl involved. No wait, there was a girl involved! (lips are sealed here forth)

    #adisha:
    Looks like you are an exception! But then you have no one to impress, right? 😉

    #Sriram:
    Heh heh! 😀 Thanks!

  24. Kokonad says:

    Sorry everyone, I was away for a while to a place with no cellphone reception or WiFi… had absolutely no access to the internet (enjoyed it thoroughly, though). Have a lot to catch up in work and I am not being very punctual in replying to comments! I hope this phase is short-lived.

    #Archana:
    Thank you, thank you! 😀 Yes, yes, forward it to all people you know should read this! It will do their stomachs some good… and might add a few years to their life too! Do you plan to start a new restaurant actually? If yes, can I help you name it?

    #Debleena:
    LOL @ New York skyline!

    #Indyeah:
    Thank you Indyeahji! I read the second part of your interview at BlogAdda! It is simply great!

    #tangerine:
    🙂 Thank you, thank you! And thanks for the tag too! I have left you a comment in your post. 🙂

    #rads:
    Thank you! Heh heh… I am doing some social service by letting guys know that girls are NOT impressed… 😛

    #PrepGirl:
    You know, I was thinking the SAME THING about BlogAdda’s pick 😛
    Yeah, this is somewhat autobiographical 😛 Most of my posts are! But I didn’t do it for a girl per se… just happened to order a dish “insanely hot” and saw the fireworks in my head.

  25. Kokonad says:

    #Julia Scissor:
    Thanks R! 🙂
    Heh heh… I think it’s a last ditch effort for men who have none of those!

    #agentgreenglass:
    Yes, guys really do this! And I am sure someone has done it for you. Jog your memory. If jogging does not work, sprint it. 😛

  26. Miss Kido says:

    Statistical data bhi provide kiya hai!!! Kya baat hai!!! 😀

    Hilarious 😀

  27. Kokonad says:

    Hi Ms Kido! Welcome to my blog! Yes, me provide statistical data with blog theories! 😛 Thanks for dropping by, and more thanks for commenting!

  28. rads says:

    Hey you have been awarded the International Bloggers’ Community Award by me :)…chk my blog for the rules to pass it on to other deserving bloggers.
    rads´s latest post – International Bloggers’ Community Award

  29. Archana says:

    Haha I would love to actually run my own restaurant. And the more the merrier for brain-storming a name. How can I not include the input from the person behind my menu’s big hit? 😛 Lol.
    Archana´s latest post – Tag, you’re IT!

  30. Hey Koke..
    An award 4 u at my blog.. Come and collect it.. And yeah come in formals 😛
    preposterousgirl´s latest post – Yay! Yay! Got an award!!

  31. Kokonad says:

    #Rads:
    Thank you, thank you! I feel very honored! 🙂

    #Archana:
    Guess what, you are the 1000th commenter on my blog! 🙂

    #PrepGirl:
    Thank you, thank you! 🙂 Arre, formals mein aana padega? They are not washed. 🙁 Tshirt, shorts and chappal will not do kya? Garmi mein raham dikhaiye madam! 🙂

  32. LOL!! The graph said it all!! 😉 Guys taking on heat to woo girls? That was totally fresh! 😀 Good one!
    TheThoughtfulTrain´s latest post – The Long Ride to School …

  33. Kokonad says:

    TheThoughtfulTrain:
    Thank you TTT, I am glad you liked it! By the way, I loved your blog and you have a new subscriber! 🙂

  34. Hey thanks buddy!! I love your kind of humour!! 🙂
    TheThoughtfulTrain´s latest post – Of Unpredictable Behaviours and A Sweet Lesson ..

  35. Auroracoda says:

    HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA TEARS!! I can’t breathe!!! OH MAN! This is SO true!

    But you know what?

    It DOES work for the GIRL! hehehe

    When I was first dating Bear, I used to order the “extra extra” spicy and then down two glasses of extra cold and sweet iced tea. All the while, my taste buds, tongue, roof of my mouth, nose, eyes and throat were all hating my guts and prayer for my imminent demise! hehe

    BUT Bear was impressed! And because I kept at it….now I can eat far spicier foods than he can….and live to tell the tale without the red eyes or tears. Maybe I have to spend a little extra bathroom time than him…but man it’s worth it to finally beat him at SOMETHING ok?
    Auroracoda´s latest post – How much is that Dupatta in the window?

  36. Kokonad says:

    #Aurora:
    Actually you are definitely RIGHT! It definitely IS a huge selling point! How did I not think of it! I myself have always been attracted to girls who can eat a hot pepper all by themselves!
    You can eat more spice than an Indian! That’s awesome! 😀 You should be given a plaque in recognition!

  37. chelli says:

    goodness!! this was way too funny. laughed my gut out!!

  38. Great Work. surely going to help me to optimize my site.

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