Admit it, you have put on weight

You are at your favorite clothes shop – the one place where you get clothes that speak the language you speak, the one place where you get clothes that personify your attitude, that highlight your personality, the one place where you get clothes that fit the one place where you get clothes that used to fit.

Whoa! 32″ waist pants used to fit! (For all you amazing ladies out there: Size zero used to fit!) How did this happen? When you came to the US, all was well! You were in the best of your health… and now you feel like a water balloon that is being tried to put into a wallet. You are obviously overcome by grief. You are probably undergoing the five stages of grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross model. Here’s how.

1. Denial
The pants don’t exist. The store doesn’t exist. This is all a dream during your secret nap time at work. Or… not. This pair of pants is a factory defect. May it is 30″ and it got a tag of 32″.

2. Anger
What the $#@%! I mean $#$@*$% come on! These pants suck. This store sucks! My #&@#$% life sucks!

3. Bargaining
God… please make these pants fit. I promise I am starting to go to the gym. TODAY. But please don’t make me check out 34″ pants!

4. Depression
Why me, God, why me! What will my friends in India say! All my life I have been taking pride in my no-gym-athletic-build! Why God, why?! Why now?

5. Acceptance
“Er… excuse me, do you have this in 34″ waist?”

Well, the whole thing happens in pretty much 30 seconds, but yes, your mind does go through all of this. Speaking of #3, where you are talking of going to gym, here’s what happens.

Work out motivation chart[Left click to zoom]

And finally, when you do look at your life in retrospect, since you came to the land of burgers and fries – this is the time line of your weight. This is probably what happened. If not all events, some have definitely occurred! Come on, admit it!

Weight Timeline[Left click to zoom]

That’s something I loved about Indian food. No matter how much I eat, I never put on weight! And one more thing was that it was so freaking hot all the time, that I would just sweat it all out! Oh how I miss Indian food!

PS: Check this video out on a Giraffe stuck in a quicksand pit – undergoing the 5 stages of grief. My favorite is the depression stage!
PPS: Just a word of advice on the general idea of weight maintenance – please keep a positive body image. You don’t want this to happen.

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Comments

44 Responses to “Admit it, you have put on weight”
  1. Ashwathy says:

    LOL!!!

    As always, awesomely done 😀 good work!
    happens a lot… esp when u shift to US or UK… and realise ur metabolism works differently in different countries. then u need to seriously cut back on ur calories… becoz even a simple meal of dal and rice adds to ur weight there, unlike in india!!

    loved both videos! the anorexia one is very well-made. and somebody has done excellent dubbing for the giraffe 😀
    Ashwathy´s latest post – The alphabet tag

  2. Ilango says:

    Haha, you couldn’t have portrayed the motivation graph better!

    I totally agree with western food making you fat… 3 months in Europe eating only cheese made me go from a size 30 to a 32! 2 months of footer in India solved the problem though 😀

    of course, i stayed away from home food all that while… i’m never fat enough for mom!
    Ilango´s latest post – Update

  3. Roshmi says:

    Ha! Ha! Ha! Enjoyed this thoroughly 😀
    Roshmi´s latest post – A story of a warm hug and a kiss… of gratitude…!

  4. Choco says:

    Awww..Poor giraffe…& GF cannot make hug ends meet? Oops…ROFL…

    Very entertaining post as always! 🙂
    Choco´s latest post – Little Choco And The Billi

  5. Nikita says:

    how i wish….this is unknown territory for me!! pizza burger kha-khaake thak gayi…but the weight refuses to get affected
    the giraffe video was awesome though…agreed, depression was the best 😀
    Nikita´s latest post – On A Cold Winter Day

  6. Sayontan says:

    Umm… as examples shouldn’t *you* have been using 34″ and 36″? 🙂
    Sayontan´s latest post – Zen and Theme Releases

  7. Nikita says:

    btw…you’ve been tagged!!
    Nikita´s latest post – The ABC Tag

  8. rads says:

    Absolutely loved the video…And I’ve been through all the stages of grief…But sometimes its hard to believe that a person who managed to look like bhendi without any excercise and in spite of eating all the junk food will put on weight after crossing boundaries n going to another place…I had to change my entire wardrobe with XL sizes and each time I look at them I think what kind of jumbo have I become…Its a sick feeling whenever I look at myself in a mirror and resolutions of going to gym donot work no matter how strict I act…the icecreams, burgers, pizzas, n fries can’t be controlled either…to me I feel going back to India is the only solution…
    rads´s latest post – Departures

  9. Debleena says:

    rofl….loved it koke
    both the graphs and esp the video….
    im going to the gym today !!! just to prove u wrong 🙂

  10. Okay okay, I admit it! Heavier now than a year ago! Happy? 😀 Good work on the graphs and the giraffe video was super too. 🙂
    it thoughtful of you to include the second video too.
    TheThoughtfulTrain´s latest post – That Familiar Old Smell …

  11. Grayquill says:

    Interesting, creative and humors – you did good!
    You sure do love your graphs – of course so do I.
    Grayquill´s latest post – First Kiss

  12. Slash says:

    There should be an additional phase in that model. 2a probably. Which is “Delusion: Holding your breath and stomach in for fooling self or passing by girl”.

    I went from 28 to 32 flat (non pun unintended) in 3 years without ever leaving India. Imagine what Uncle Sam would have done to the bulge.
    Slash´s latest post – A piece of euphemistic cake

  13. Archana says:

    LOL, I love this. 🙂 Something does tend to happen to people once they enter the land of the burger & the fries! Though I’m glad I’ve never succumbed to the overly fatty, fried, apparently ‘delicious’ food of America. I’ve never been a big fan, just the occasional indulgence. And that itself is enough to make me feel a little chubbier – I think you’ll remember the Freshman 15 story. 😛

    Loved the second 2D btw, it really is so spot on. Cannot see your toes & the incomplete hug….such a riot Koke! I just got back from a long vacation in India and I feel like with all the sweets people were trying to stuff down my throat I’m going to have to up the gym routine to come back to optimal Archana, lol. They just never stop with the over-feeding, heh!

    All that aside, definitely positive attitude towards your body is major! I definitely think going to the gym, shouldn’t only be to maintain an attractive body, but also just purely for health reasons. 🙂
    Archana´s latest post – Ladies, brace yourselves. 😉

  14. Auroracoda says:

    Ohhhh how many times have I said to myself….tomorrow is the day I will hit the gym!

    I’m not quite sure why….but so far tomorrow hasn’t come. I keep waiting for it…but seriously, has anyone seen my tomorrow? I know I put it down somewhere around here….maybe under the french fries? No? Hmmm under the grilled cheese sandwich fried in butter? Nope, not there….under the Spaghetti with garlic bread then? Hmmmm…well I’ll just have to look harder after lunch. 😉

    Excellent post and so well timed! Being less than two weeks away from my wedding when I’ll be wearing a tummy showing sari…I’m starting to get a little freaked out. Reminds me to look harder for that tomorrow gym thing!
    Auroracoda´s latest post – Bhabhi Made It Better….

  15. Deepika says:

    Really funny! 😀

  16. ajcl says:

    haha.. loved this post and could relate to it so well.. am always wallowing in the stages u mentioned so i know it all too well..
    u do an awesome job with the graphs i tell u..
    ajcl´s latest post – I have learnt that

  17. Mythri says:

    LOL!!!! =)) love the graphs…can totally relate!

    btw….i guess i’m still in the Bargaining stage according to this post 🙁
    Mythri´s latest post – The weekend concert

  18. Archana says:

    This is totally off-topic, but I just saw this on your profile “Boxers or Briefs? Post-its”. ROLF. You would come up with something like that. 😛
    Archana´s latest post – Unpacked Reflections

  19. TW says:

    LOL.. i totally know this cycle.. only mine ended in two months of coming here and I decided to start cooking :))… and then I lost weight… err.. only until my hours sucked again and I had to order into office on seamless web every other day.. and then I got married and running home to dine with hubby helped the waistline again.. now I am chilling out and can exercise in the morning 🙂 so all good! Phew! :))

    right now size 0P …. I sometimes have the problem of not finding clothes small enough!!!!! :OO
    TW´s latest post – I am back!

  20. Verby says:

    LOL where on earth do u get the tmie for those graphs and all :). did enjoy reading it.. as always you do crack me up! couldnt see th videos as am in office..will chk frm home.. 🙂
    Verby´s latest post – Pregnany & men 😛

    • Kokonad says:

      #Slash:
      Heh heh heh! You won’t believe I was trying to incorporate that into the graph! 😀 I also have a feeling that holding stomach in really doesn’t help! Girls can see through that! 😀

      #Archana:
      Ah the freshman 15 story 😀
      Thank you thank you for the compliments! Somehow Indian food, no matter how much of it I eat (in India) never adds any weight! Sigh… makes me want to go back for 6 months just so I can lose weight!
      About going to the gym, I prefer playing… unfortunately, I cannot play outdoors 5-6 months a year because of weather, and anyway a severely injured ankle does not help 🙁
      About the profile: I love that answer myself! 😀 I was proud of myself to have come up with it! Heh heh!

  21. TW says:

    Hmm.. your latest post thingy doesn’t seem to be working.. I was back a long time ago… 🙂
    TW´s latest post – The $2000 teeth

    • Kokonad says:

      #Ashwathy:
      Thank you, thank you! You are probably right… I never quite looked at this from the point of view of countries! Hmmm… Looks like salad is the only option for me, eh? 🙁
      I think that giraffe video is by Robot Chicken, but I am not a hundred percent sure… but that crying thing sends me into a frenzy of uncontrollable laughter!

      #Ilango:
      Heh heh!
      Sigh… I wish I could play here too! Remember that ankle sprain I got while in Mandak? It was so bad and it was misdiagnosed 🙁 Now later this year I need to go a complete ankle reconstruction! *Shudders*

      #Roshmi:
      Thank you Roshmi!

      #Choco:
      Thank you, thank you! I must declare here that I didn’t have that hug-ends-not-meeting situation! 😀

      #Nikita:
      Wow. YOU ARE EXTREMELY EXTREMELY FORTUNATE! (The photos show, btw! :P) And thanks for the tag, as I have said already, yours was a lot of fun reading!

      #Sayontan:
      OK OK! Fine! But I still haven’t moved to the 36″ phase! I went through this when I went from 32 to 34, but always fear 34 to 36. Thankfully that has not happened! 😀

      #Rads:
      I empathize, Rads, I empathize! 🙂

      #Debleena:
      Ok. But did you go the next day? 😛

      #TheThoughtfulTrain:
      Heh heh, thank you, thank you! 🙂
      Yeah, I am against the whole going on a diet thing… my point is always to eat well and work it all out! I feel not eating at all is a sad thing to do! And that’s why the video 🙂

      #Grayquill:
      Thank you sir! 🙂 I am glad you liked the graphs… yeah, I sure love them!

    • Kokonad says:

      #Aurora:
      LOL @ tummy showing sari! Well, I could tell you this, that the beauty of the sari is such that everyone looks phenomenally breathtaking in it!
      And one more thing, all the Indian food combined with the *awesome* weather is going to put you back into shape! 😀
      Btw, I liked how you talked about bear’s parents in your recent most post. Will head over there and comment on it.

      #Deepika:
      Thanks D! 🙂

      #ajcl:
      Thank you ajcl! 😀 I am glad you liked it!

      #Mythri:
      Bargaining stage eh? 😀 Soon you will enter the depression stage (see the giraffe video and then you will see why I am laughing so loudly in my head)

      #TW:
      I am sorry that the ‘latest post’ goof up happened! I really have no clue why it did, though.
      And here’s a standing ovation for your achievement! 🙂 0P eh? Shopping in the kids’ section? Way to go (applause dies down slowly). I have heard eating home cooked food on a regular basis sure helps in controlling weight. Unfortunately, a busy schedule does not really help!

      #Verby:
      Definitely see the videos! 🙂 I am glad you liked the graphs. More often than not, I come up with those graphs when someone is talking to me and I drift off. 😀 After the conversation is over, i quickly write it down in a place and look over the list later. The ones for these, I had thought of over a month back!

  22. Sayontan says:

    From your response:

    Thankfully that has not happened!

    Stage 1 – Denial
    Sayontan´s latest post – Zen and Theme Releases

  23. adisha says:

    My my !! What a well researched post :)) lolzzzz
    adisha´s latest post – Walking in the Rain

  24. rads says:

    lol, good stuff and all very real too!

    Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting. 🙂
    rads´s latest post – mint pulao

  25. RukmaniRam says:

    See, this is why I don;t have a favorite store,and shop on the streets of Delhi, where the size tags are by default bogus. 😀

    Both the graphs are too true though.
    RukmaniRam´s latest post – Typocal Names

  26. mythri says:

    please collect your award and tag (I know it might be difficult to answer few questions..but wanted to pass the award) from my blog 🙂
    mythri´s latest post – Awards and a Tag

  27. Kokonad says:

    #Adisha:
    Well researched? Barely! 😛 I am pretty much speaking for myself! 😀

    #Rads:
    Welcome to my blog, Rads! I love your blog! But you already know that 😀
    Thanks for commenting! I hope to see you here again, more so because you are a blogging veteran (no I am not calling you old). 🙂

    #RukmaniRam:
    You vanished from the face of earth I say! I am glad you liked the graphs!
    Aaah Delhi. Aaah Connaught Place. Aaah paani puri. Aaah chhole bhature. *Drooooooool*

    #Mythri:
    Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! 🙂 I feel great that you find me worthy of the award.
    Will do tag soon!

  28. Kokonad says:

    #Sayontan
    Har har har.

    😛

  29. mentalie says:

    hullo kokonad! did the 34″ waist…fit?

    i used to have a 34″ waist once. i maintained it on a super regulated diet of oreos, after eights and liter tubs of hagen daas. and i bought size 36″ jeans because i am built with indian hips that erm…flare out into a classic hour glass at the bottom. the top is another story which i’ll save for another time…:)
    mentalie´s latest post – i’m glad that freak is dead

  30. Kokonad says:

    #Mentalie:
    Mentalie! Long time no sie!
    Yeah, 34″ still fits!
    You have not updated in a LONG LONG time. That does somewhat sound like a regulated diet! And I am somewhat intrigued by the top 😛

  31. Indyeah says:

    ROFL!

    *applause* *applause*

    WHat a brilliant post!

    amazing graph too! ! I err go through all the stages 😀 not in the same order though:D
    but yeah the first one is the dominant one 😀
    okay now off to watch the giraffe video.

    btw the one on anorexia is awesomely made!
    Indyeah´s latest post – A nation forgets?

  32. Indyeah says:

    I just saw the giraffe video 😀 cute and funny! 😀

    PS:- I am curious about your prof pic:) is that you lying in a garden somewhere?:)
    Indyeah´s latest post – A nation forgets?

  33. Kokonad says:

    #Indyeahji:
    Thank you thank you! 🙂 I am glad you liked it, and even related to it, regardless of the order 😛
    And I love the giraffe video too – it’s such a mood lifter when he cries like that! It’s REALLY FUNNY!
    About my profile pic, that is me. Lying in front of my apartment complex here in my university. 🙂 It was taken by my roommate over two years back. I absolutely adore the photo because it is still me, but anonymous. I am happy you noticed!

  34. Rofl.. How much I missed ur so awesome-ly and “brainy” graphs during my exams.. Glad to see u gng up there in the 2-D world.. 😛 hehehehehe
    Btw why have u not blogged for so much time.. oh I know I know.. u missed my comments ..so u missed the motivation to write the blog.. 😉 😛 hehehe lol
    preposterousgirl´s latest post – Blog-Award

  35. Foreign Desi says:

    Hahaha, this is hilarious! It’s not that bad… I guess I’ve grown up out west, so I know what not to eat. Plus, I almost ALWAYS only eat Indian food 😛 On the contrary, I put on weight when I visit India! Grand sweets being closeby is NOT good for my health!

    I love the second graph 😛
    Foreign Desi´s latest post – You can hear my voice.

  36. Kokonad says:

    #PrepGirl:
    Oh so that’s where you were! 🙂 Wahi main soch raha tha ki yeh ladki gayi kahaan! 🙂
    I wish I would blog as frequently as I used to – both July and August were pretty low. 🙁 You are absolutely right. Kya karein, when people like you are missing from my commenters’ list, life has no meaning 😛

    #Foreign Desi:
    I am glad you liked the post, FD! I wish I could have an Indian diet as frequently as I wished! My body is just not designed for western food! 😀
    Aah, grand sweets. Aaah Adyar. (*droooooool)

  37. heheehehe See, How well I can read ur mind.. Hai na?!? 😉
    So now u have ur motivation back.. So what r u waiting for.. heheheh 😀 😀
    preposterousgirl´s latest post – One love is all she needs.. 🙁

  38. chelli says:

    maybe you went to the us way too early to complete the last stages of anabolism-wins-over-catabolism while in india.

  39. Kokonad says:

    #Chelli: Heh heh, probably I did! 🙂

  40. peridot says:

    heyy hi..came across ur blog throu ur ramayana on facebook post..!!! that was truely amazingly awsome..!!
    so very creative..!!

    weighty issue’s has been a problem all over. so clicked away on this post…really amazing..!!
    thankx thankx a ton for that anorexia video..!!! i think that will help me surely…
    im struglling throu break the ice of being over weight..since almost half a decade..!!

    looking frwd to ur posts..!!
    gr88 blog..!! God Bless u..!! Keep Smiling…!!

  41. Kokonad says:

    Peridot: Thank you, Peridot! 🙂 Welcome to my blog I am glad you liked it – and thanks for commenting! I hope to see you again sometime

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