Take that picture again!

Delete that photo

It’s a party. Or an outing. All of you who have digital cameras obviously love your cameras and love taking pictures. Whether it is a single profile shot, or a small group shot, you are often told to delete a pic. These are some of the issues because of which I am told to take a picture again, and delete the previous one. Now analyzed by gender.

Guys’ complaints:
1. I blinked
2. Photo blur
3. Dude, I am not in the frame

Girls’ complaints:
1. My shoes are not visible
2. My shoes are visible
3. My smile is weird
4. My laugh is weird
5. My hair is not proper
6. My eyes are weird
7. My nails are not done
8. My nails are done
9. Uncool dress
10. Unhot dress
11. She looks cooler
12. She looks hotter
13. The left side of my face is weird
14. The right side of my face is weird
15. I don’t like my face from the front
16. I don’t like your face from the front
17. Unknown reason (won’t tell)
18. I blinked

Girls, you look absolutely fabulous. We guys love to have you in our photos, and we admit we generally don’t have an eye for detail(led flaws) – but we earnestly love to see you with that carefree laugh, with the surprised look or that absolutely mesmerizing stray lock of hair. Ladies, you look gorgeous. Always. You brighten up our photos. You bring life to them. 🙂 Guys, back me up on this.

Love spicy food, eh?

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This post is dedicated to all those people who, in order to impress the gentler sex, will overload their dish with “extra hot” for their order in a restaurant. What follows is extremely funny, if seen with the right eye. Also, don’t rub your eyes after touching spicy food. It’s worse when you are wearing contact lenses. Take it from someone who has done it. No, really. I have.

So the next time you go out with friends out for dinner, and someone in your group has been raving as to how much spicy food he can take, observe him really closely, more so if there are girls in your group. At first, he is going to declare at the table, within audible range of his object of interest how much he loves spicy food. He will then choose the spiciest dish from the menu (the one with two chillies drawn right next to it). He will further make sure that the girl has heard him. He will then tell the waiter that he wants that dish, but he wants it extra-extra-spicy.

The food arrives, and our hero dives into his red colored dish. He takes the first spoonful into his mouth to demonstrate how much he loves it. Thereafter it’s all regret.

He will blink ever so quickly at the sheer shock of TOO MANY CHILLIES. He will first nod his head and smack his lips to say how amazing it is in taste. In his head, he is telling himself that he could have gone for just spicy and not ‘extra extra’ at all. His vision is blurry and tears well up in his eyes. Whilst fighting back the tears, there is a volcano erupting in his mouth and is probably reaching into his ears. Hell hath no fury like a tongue incinerated. He makes a mental note that he is never going to eat that dish ‘extra extra spicy’ again. Ever. Oh and there are these tell-tale signs of his suffering. First, he will talk a lot less until the fire is out. Then, at one point, roughly 33% into his food, he is going to comment that the food is really hot. And is going let out a chuckle abashedly. Third, he is going to eat more rice than normal to douse all that fire on his tongue. And fourth, there is a high chance he is not going to finish his food. Fifth, he may suggest dessert.

Meanwhile, our hero doesn’t realize that all this self inflicted arson is futile because the girl he wants to impress is unimpressed by his gastrointestinal prowess. Trust me guys, IT NEVER WORKS. So don’t even try it. How well you can withstand-the-assault-of-spicy-food-without-getting-mind-numbing-gas is fairly low on the ‘boyfriend eligibility’ list. Women don’t want all that! I will tell you what women want. Meanwhile, our hero’s love interest is actually completely enamored by this other guy in the group and our hero doesn’t know it. Ah, never mind. It opens up a whole new chapter in love.

So you think you love spicy food?
[Click to magnify]

PS: I really think waiters/cooks have a major play in this. They throw in another ‘extra’ in ‘extra extra spicy’ and sit back and watch the fireworks/waterworks.

That dreaded visit to home

Several of my friends from school and college have recently started a trend. They suddenly change their status on facebook/orkut – as engaged, or even married! Without any warning whatsoever. Not that we are devastated by the information that our buddy is getting married. No, because it is really great news. (Means we get to eat food for 3 days in return for moving some baskets of food/flowers around).

On asking them how it all happened… this is the generic  conversation.

[…]
“Whoa! That’s awesome news… so how did it all happen?”
“Mom insisted.”
“Mom insisted? You mean you didn’t want to?”
“No… I am glad that I am getting married! But I was not mentally prepared to get married now.”
“Didn’t you tell her that?”
“Well, I did – but the argument quickly disintegrated into dust when she mentioned that she wanted to see grandchildren before she is old.”
“Ah, ok. So that’s why you got married…”
“Actually, no. I used the ‘I want to get settled first’ argument.”
“And?”
“Oh man she saw it coming. She said I get paid well enough to sustain the entire community.”
“Oooh…”
“Yeah, apparently she has been telling people that I am the ‘CEO of email’. ”
“Ha ha ha ha!”
“But her final argument is irrefutable.”
“And what’s that?”
“She said that in her ladies club she feels awkward because she is the only non-mother-in-law”
[…]

Sometimes you just can’t win arguments with parents. Back in the days it was about a new GI-Joe toy. Of late, there has been an increasing occurence of this. Most people I know who are above the age of 25 go home to visit their parents and come back engaged. In a couple of cases, married. The general warning going around is to avoid the topic as much as possible. Feign ignorance of the concept of marriage if that’s what it takes. 🙂 Such conversations are always, always hilarious. When it happens to someone else.

When it happens to you, you need to learn not to be a kid anymore. A bigger life awaits you. 🙂

That irrefutable argument

Whatsisname – II

New Zealand is a fine country. I have always wanted to visit it because of it’s scenic splendor. And now I have an additional reason to visit this country.
Names.
Really wonderful and creative ones, some being outright hilarious. The following are some of them – yes, they are fully official names, on paper.

Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii
(who recently was allowed to change her name)
Benson (and his twin) Hedges
Violence
Number 16 Bus Shelter
Variable (whose plea to change name to ‘F*ck Censorship’ was rejected)
In God We Trust

Among the names that were not accepted by the Registrar General: Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion and Sex Fruit.

I mean, who calls their son/daughter Sex Fruit? That poor thing will not make it through pre-school. What will he/she say when asked the meaning of the name? And I wonder how many people will turn around to look when someone hollers the name across the street!
Similarly, poor Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii… I wonder which is the first, the middle and the last name for this girl…

A New Zealand judge has made a 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name can be changed from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, the country’s national news agency reported Thursday.
Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt listed a series of unusual names that New Zealand parents had given their children, and said he was concerned that such strange monikers would create hurdles for them as they grew up.
“It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap,” the New Zealand Press Association quoted the judge as saying.
Among the names Murfitt cited: twins named Benson and Hedges — after a brand of cigarettes; Violence; and Number 16 Bus Shelter.
Some parents had named children after six-cylinder Ford cars, the news agency reported.
The Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages said in a statement that it had rejected names including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi — a staple food in Polynesian cuisine — and Sex Fruit.
A lawyer for Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii said the girl is so embarrassed by her name that friends know her as “K.”
Last month, an judge in the U.S. state of Illinois allowed a school bus driver to legally change his first name to “In God” and his last name to “We Trust.”
But an appeals court in the state of New Mexico ruled against a man — named Variable — who wanted to change his name to a two-word phrase that contains a four-letter expletive and expresses opposition to censorship.

Weird wild wacky world indeed.

Related post:
Whatsisname – I

Senator Obama’s iPod

There are some articles I read here and there, which I have no connection to whatsoever. But I still get a feel-good rush in my body. For no reason.

CNN.com had this article – What’s on Barack Obama’s iPod? – a few days back, and it listed most artists he listens to. Get ready for this, because Senator Obama has a genuinely eclectic taste.
Bob Dylan.
Bruce Springsteen.
Rolling Stones.
Elton John.
Earth, Wind & Fire.
Stevie Wonder.
Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Charlie Parker from the jazz front.

“Actually, one of my favorites during the political season is ‘Maggie’s Farm,’ ” Obama said of one of Dylan’s tracks. “It speaks to me as I listen to some of the political rhetoric.” In the song, Dylan sings about trying be himself, “but everybody wants you to be just like them.”
[snip]
Several musicians on Obama’s iPod support his bid for the White House, including Bruce Springsteen. Earlier this month, Dylan told a British newspaper that he believes Obama is redefining politics in the United States and could deliver change to a nation in upheaval.
“I’ve got to say, having both Dylan and Bruce Springsteen say kind words about you is pretty remarkable,” Obama said. “Those guys are icons.”
Obama said he hasn’t met Springsteen, but the two have talked over the phone.
“Not only do I love Bruce’s music, but I just love him as a person,” Obama said. “He is a guy who has never lost track of his roots, who knows who he is, who has never put on a front.”
And did he address him as the Boss?
“You’ve got to,” the candidate said.

Turns out Senator Obama does not think highly of the rap of today’s generation. Though he correctly says that this music has removed segregation in the music culture, he quoted that there was way too much materialism and misogyny in the lyrics. He is concerned about that fact that his daughters listen to it. While he says that hip hop and rap moguls Russell Simmons, Jay-Z and Ludacris are “great talents and great businessmen”, he feels that it would be nice if he could have his daughters listen to this music without him worrything that they are getting bad images of themselves.

Senator Obama at Penn State, 2008

Why I had that feel-good rush when I read all this? Probably because I listen to a lot of stuff he listens to too. And I really admire him and agree with his taste.

Haiku

Saw this haiku (What it is?) on a friend’s T shirt today:

Haikus are so easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator

Hilarious! :))

The challenge to live

The two of my most favorite (and heartbreakingly touching) awareness ads for cancer make me feel strangely heavy. I really hope that the cure for cancer comes along soon. Real soon.


Peruvian Cancer Foundation – The magic of giving (1:29)


Ninos con Cancer – Gesto de Amor (0:50)

Both these ads made it big at the Cannes Film festival. Turn on your speakers, the accompanying music is superb.

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