Relationships and distance

Disclaimer: I think I speak for *almost* everyone when I show this. Note the use of the word ‘almost’ within asterisks. Also, I don’t mean to be mean! People, please don’t hate me for this – it’s meant to tickle your brain. To first make you laugh, then make you think. If you lie in that peak region, do let us know! :) It will help the whole world in general.

Relationships and distance

More from Thoughts in 2D: making simple things look geeky. That kind of rhymes.

I H8 TXTSPK ALOL

Yes, I hate text speak (txtspk). I am probably one of those few people in the world who insist on writing complete sentences even while SMSing/texting on cell phones. I agree every character is precious and it makes complete sense to abbreviate messages so that you get charged for only one message. But why do I have to read txtspk sentences in emails? NO ONE IS CHARGING YOU FOR ANYTHING. WRITE COMPLETE WORDS, LET ALONE SENTENCES. And what really irritates me is when I see a liberal use of replacing “th” with “d”. Look man, are you trying to be cool? Because it’s not working. No, it really isn’t. And you are not gaining anything from misspelling things. It’s totally arbitrary and it is not any kind of reason for celebration or show off.

Fr exmple how wud u lk 2 read da rest of dis post in dis abyssmal form of xprshn? It tuk me forvr 2 write dis sntnce. English is 2G2B4G. @TEOTD I knw u r g8ng u r msg acrss but dis is nt pr8y. K gtg nw. Show me the English ▼

It was late 2006 when New Zealand announced that it is OK if students used text-speak in their examinations as long as they showed an understanding of what was being asked of them. And that decision got many a bee in many a bonnet. The NZ qualifications authority apparently were asked “u mst b joking. or r u smkin smthng?” I was initially wondering that probably no one really wants txtspk to exist because it ruins academic writing. Turns out there are ongoing debates where educationalists are fighting over whether txtspk should be allowed or not…

The first *serious casualty* of txtspk is grammar. Well, grammatically speaking, they are trolls… but dramatically speaking, they pretty much convey the message. Let’s be honest. Languages have evolved a lot from what they were several hundred years back. They have always converged towards ease of communication and understanding. And that’s probably why Latin is no longer spoken by anyone. :D But will this lead to txtspk being the ‘talk of the town’? Can it actually become a colloquial language?

Nevertheless, ryting lyk dis irritates da hell outta ma sanity.

You might be wondering what on earth ALOL is. The reason behind this actually cracked me up. So, LOL is ‘Laughing out loud’ and ALOL is ‘Actually laughing out loud’. :D It arose from the fact that some people while chatting on IM or texting on cell phones never really laughed out loud even if they punched in “LOL” on their screens. So they wanted to draw the distinction between just LOLing and Actually-LOLing. ALOL. On that note… I came up with a self-explanatory graph here – the latest in Thoughts in 2D.

Do you hear laughter?

PS: I thought it should be text speech – but I really don’t know why it’s called text speak.
PPS: I required a bit of asking around to know what’s new in txtspk. Looks like my age does not permit usage of txtpsk.

Too much too fast

There are way too many electronic devices in the world. Way way way way too many. And the fact they are out with a new model with incremental advantage by the time you open all the bubble wrap. The biggest regrets are accompanied with laptops, desktop computers, digital cameras and *some* Apple products. I mean, I just bought it – you are out with a new model already? And slashed the price of my model too! Come on!

My complaint, however, is not with that exactly. I want to run a comparison with the early 90s and before. When a person used to buy something, be it a car or even a radio, the love for it used to be eternal. The affection one had for his or her electronic item was possessive and beautiful. There was no competition for years to come and one did not get envious of a friend buying a better one…

Let me take an example where I myself am involved. Way back in 1996, I was gifted a Sony Walkman. Oh man I loved it! I used to wipe it regularly, used smart battery practices and used it frequently. ALL THE WAY TILL 2002. So that lasted over 6 yeras. After which cassettes went obsolete and CDs came in. My brother gave me my first portable CD player and that stayed with me till 2007 (5 years later), when I bought my iPod Touch. Three months after my purchasing it, Apple released its 2nd generation iPod Touch which is better than mine in so many ways… but the advantages of the second model are fairly incremental in nature and one can do without them. But still, it is marketed in such a way that it is absolutely essential to have that update, because you are going to reach happiness much faster.

My point is, electronic items are increasingly becoming disposable. With huge numbers already being produced at this time, product life in the market has been reduced to a few blinks of the eye. Can anyone else see things spiraling out of control? What can we expect in 2020? What kind of choices will our next generation be presented with?

Some food for thought. (In retrospect, most of the graph also holds *somewhat* true for boyfriends/girlfriends :P)

Your love for electronicsLove thy gadget
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Social networking is not.

First I was tired of seeing weird names on Orkut. Now I am TIRED of seeing those irritating tests of Facebook that go “What kind of _____ are you?” That _____ could be any of the following: fruit, underwear, switchboard, poop, detergent, refrigerator, carburetor, lawn mower, chewing gum stage, ear wax, potato, weed, antenna, sock,  or molester. And then they, with *careful* analysis show that the quiz revealed something amazing about you probably never knew about yourself. Why why why why why why – why do people have to take that test? And even if it is for their personal entertainment, they should stop publishing it on their profile… aaargh!

Aside, a growing trend among people on the internet, people have basically stopped having lives. (Here is a potential ‘Look who’s talking’ moment, but I am going to ignore it) Thanks to all these social networking websites (Facebook and Orkut primarily) – people literally have forgotten how to converse with rich content, or even open a conversation. Social skills are out the window! Like I said, social networking is not.

More harmful effects of computers and excessive online activity: Bad handwriting!

Social networking is not.

Better never than late!

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you end up late no matter how ahead of time you plan things. That happens to me ALL the time. I am, by habit, a fairly punctual person. But you never know, sometimes a series of unfortunate events totally mess things up. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter. Other times, you get judged. :D And you curse the fact that the day even happened. It’s as if God has a grand scheme of things planned out for you – but you never see it! Heh heh. In my continuing series of Thoughts in 2D, here’s my latest.

When you are late...

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That dreaded visit to home

Several of my friends from school and college have recently started a trend. They suddenly change their status on facebook/orkut – as engaged, or even married! Without any warning whatsoever. Not that we are devastated by the information that our buddy is getting married. No, because it is really great news. (Means we get to eat food for 3 days in return for moving some baskets of food/flowers around).

On asking them how it all happened… this is the generic  conversation.

[...]
“Whoa! That’s awesome news… so how did it all happen?”
“Mom insisted.”
“Mom insisted? You mean you didn’t want to?”
“No… I am glad that I am getting married! But I was not mentally prepared to get married now.”
“Didn’t you tell her that?”
“Well, I did – but the argument quickly disintegrated into dust when she mentioned that she wanted to see grandchildren before she is old.”
“Ah, ok. So that’s why you got married…”
“Actually, no. I used the ‘I want to get settled first’ argument.”
“And?”
“Oh man she saw it coming. She said I get paid well enough to sustain the entire community.”
“Oooh…”
“Yeah, apparently she has been telling people that I am the ‘CEO of email’. ”
“Ha ha ha ha!”
“But her final argument is irrefutable.”
“And what’s that?”
“She said that in her ladies club she feels awkward because she is the only non-mother-in-law”
[...]

Sometimes you just can’t win arguments with parents. Back in the days it was about a new GI-Joe toy. Of late, there has been an increasing occurence of this. Most people I know who are above the age of 25 go home to visit their parents and come back engaged. In a couple of cases, married. The general warning going around is to avoid the topic as much as possible. Feign ignorance of the concept of marriage if that’s what it takes. :) Such conversations are always, always hilarious. When it happens to someone else.

When it happens to you, you need to learn not to be a kid anymore. A bigger life awaits you. :)

That irrefutable argument

Who moved my crease?

I cannot iron my clothes to save my life. Not that I would decide to iron my clothes when my life was in danger, as a last wish. But like I said, I cannot iron clothes to save my life. Why? Because it HAS to be perfect – when it comes to creases in clothes. For starters, I myself cannot make a straight crease. When I realize that, it’s too late to rectify it for that wash. And when I wear it, I always know at the back of my mind that my creases aren”t straight. Most of my friends tell me that they didn’t care to notice. Other friends pretend they didn’t hear the question. *Sigh*

The laundry guy was no good either. He never made the same crease twice! At the end of the year, my trousers and shirts had a strip thick as bandaid that served as the crease. Mom has always been there to help me in this aspect. She does a wonderful job. Simply brilliant, actually.

I haven’t used an iron since 2001. Thank God for wrinkle free and permanent crease wear.

And don’t even get me started on cleaning mirrors!

Just buy a new one!

Just buy a new one!

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