Pigs don’t have it easy

After the reverberating (cough) response following the coverage of The sinking of Hawaii, Doofus Maximus appears again – only this time, he has an animal’s point of view. A pig. About how they do not have it easy in this cold cruel world of humans. Now with swine flu, they hate it that their already tarnished image is being given a shot. Doofus Maximus reporting, for comic relief only.

Pigs want their oink to be heard

1st May 2009
Lasve Gas

By correspondent Dewfus Maksimus

Pigs have not had it easy for a long long time. They have been the butt of jokes and stereotypes of the human race for as long as they can remember. In the recently held swine conference held in Lasve Gas, the primary focus of the meeting was to bring together pigs from around the world to discuss how to renew their failed image among the human race. Iffaifaart Yudai, their chief spokespig expressed great hope amidst deep concern –
Ah all you swine, let our minds entwine, we need to draw the line, and recreate an image so fine, that humans see us shine, and treat us with respect as they dine!“.

Pigs are not happy with several expressions from around the world in different languages – “eat/smell like a pig“, “this place is like a pigsty“, “son of swine” etc. The last one, they say, was spoken out with deep passion in an Indian movie – Sholay (suar ke bachchon), and thereafter, most of this country’s citizens used it as a calling that lacked affection. And now, pigs feel that ‘swine flu’ is going to cause their popularity charts to plummet further. The spokespig added that humans are going to hate pigs more.
We have a poink to make. It’s not fair you know, they get the flu too! So why can’t we? If they get flu, they get the flu shot. If we get flu, we get shot.
They are indeed pushing for the renaming of the virus strain to H1N1, so that the general morale of pigs stays higher.

This event was originally organized by the GRaceful Union against Negative Treatment (GRUNT), but they were disgruntled that GRUNT did not quite reach human ears. Humans ignored it as a mere grunt. Then the management gurus advised them to change their name to Oppression and Insensitivity are Not Kool (OINK) but that failed to make a point poink as well. “We thought, at least by spelling ‘cool’ as ‘kool’ is going to get some attention!“, Mr. Yudai was heard saying.
Finally they conducted surveys among humans, the most common reply received was “Pigs forming an organization? Pffft! Yeah, and pigs can fly!” Taking the hint from the overwhelmingly common response, the organization was then renamed to PFFFT (Pigs’ Foundation For Fine Treatment) with their catch line “Pigs can fly

Let’s hope their oinks and grunts are heard this time and they have better times ahead. Below is the poster for PFFFT, an organization that has set out to make a difference.Pigs can fly poster

Photograph credits
Original bird flying image (I took this!)
Original pig from here
Original mud splatter from here

Edited to add:
Roshmi’s take on the issue – how you can turn swine flu to YOUR advantage!
Jai Iyer says (draws, rather) – After all, pigs are people too, you know!